Looking back on these last couple weeks that seems like an eternity, it all feels like a blur. It’s like a dream that I never expected to end the way it did. Tombe enceinte was the easy part, even though I thought that that was going to take a while. I had a pretty good pregnancy, no real nausea, no complications thank goodness, but neer the end of the pregnancy (if you read my previous posts) was a bit longer than expected. 41W 5days to be exact.

By the actual due date, I had to go into hospital to see what is the little man still doing in there. I was only 1 cm dilated with no real sign of any contractions. All other natural remedies of inducing labor have been my forte up until this moment came along…I prayed for those contractions (later on I would realize my mistake). Off to home, I went to wait another two days. That evening, I started to have contractions that were pretty close to each other and with no idea whether this was it, off we went to the hospital once again just to be told to take some pain medication and go home. Seriously people? Can’t you understand the dire need of a 41W 5day pregnant woman, I just to see my baby already!!

I fell asleep and woke up with no pain or Brixton hicks at all. You can imagine how long that day was! So the following day, I had to go in again and still, nothing has changed!?!! Two days later, my induced day arrived and I felt pretty calm because by this stage there was no use in preparing myself anymore. We arrived at the hospital and I was firstly induced by the lesser extreme method- an inflated balloon that I had to sleep with overnight.  It was not even half an hour and the contractions started to kick in…Super strong contractions can’t breathe…

The following morning, I was super exhausted and only dilated 3cm extra. They came to the conclusion that I was ready for the final step skipping the hormone gel injection and heading right to the hormone drip which was sure to work. At seven in the morning, I was induced with the drip and all I could do was wait for the contractions to come on really strong before demanding for an epidural…About around 11 am I was ready for no more pain and the epidural was inserted just before I felt the last bit of pain leaving my body. Thereafter several hours followed of apple juice drinking, making chats with my better half and checking how far I’ve dilated…

Around 4 pm in the afternoon, I felt a sudden pinch in my hip and I knew something was up. The epi is supposed to numb all pain right so why do I feel this aching pain in my hip all of a sudden. They frantically checked and all was fine, the Neurologist gave me an extra dose or two, but to his dismay, nothing seemed to be working. By this stage I was cringing of pain, taking a breath between every minute contraction that was hitting me like a train. The unexpected happened- the epidural came out of my spine all by itself. The neurologist was awestruck and I was utterly exhausted by the time the seconds epidural started kicking in.  So around 6 pm, I was given the option, wait another two hours to dilate another two centimeters (by this stage I was 8cm dilated) or prep myself for a C-section…One hour passed and nothing had changed. Obviously, we opt for the c-section by this point in time.

What prep myself for an unexpected surgery that I was completely not ready for? I never thought of having a C-section, just because giving birth normally is what everyone is doing here! After 27 hours of labor sure, sign me up. Surely it can’t be that bad, right? They rolled me off and left my husband in the waiting room, prepped me while I gasped for air in between sobs and feeling uncontrollably nauseous with the taste op apple juice in my thought. Once my husband arrived I felt calm and ready to meet our son. After being butchered for about five minutes in, I heard his big sobbing cry! There is just no better feeling!!! Joy, love, and

He was just showed to me in a split second and then was carried off to be cleaned and weighed. He weighed 4,05kg- no wonder I could not have a normal birth. The doctor told me his head was turned in my womb also and therefore made natural birth along with his weight impossible. I was rolled off to a recuperation room to recover for about two hours, whilst all I wanted was to hold my little boy. My husband insisted after an hour and arrived with our son sucking his way to my chest. It’s just so amazing that they know what to do and your motherly instincts just spontaneously kick in.

Even though I haven’t had a clue what he might look like, it felt as though I have known him all my life. The amount of love is just so indescribable! Once we arrived back in our hospital room I was so sore and tired but way too amped with adrenaline to sleep. I kept on looking at this amazing gift right beside me whilst he was making every kind of distracting sound during the night.

The days that followed in the hospital was no walk in the park either. I could barely move the first day and had no lactation consultant to help me with breastfeeding. The daily checkups, no time to nap and the wait for my milk to come in was pretty exhausting as well. An endlessly hungry baby was keeping me up until day three. When I felt the burning sensation of my milk streaming in by day three it was celebrated and also dulled by pain medication. Somehow, just somehow, you just push through it all, because all that you can think about is nursing and caring for your child. There is not a whole lot that can compare to actually holding and feeding your baby.

Funnily enough, my husband told me about one of his co-worker’s wives going through this experience. I laughed it off and thought, never in my life, that will be my worst, but surely I had gone through the exact same thing at the and of the day.

What I have learned from this experience is that nothing can fully prepare you for having a baby for the first time. Natural birth or cesarean – don’t make any set plans, chances are they won’t pan out the way you would’ve liked. But have a guideline for your birth plan just in any case. Don’t compare your birthing experience to others, some women go into labor quite easily- that’s just the way it is.   I am blessed to have a child, be thankful and enjoy every second. Time is a master of its own.

M*